I thought about me wearing clothes like the other girls at work and being on a beach without any clothes on. Then I realised that my left hand was on my right tit and was caressing it through my nightie and bra. And my right hand was pressing on my pussy through my nightie and knickers.“Good grief, what am I doing, mother would kill me.” My hands went to my sides, the moment gone and I was soon asleep.*****I woke up before my alarm and thought that it was a wonderful day, even though I hadn’t looked outside. In the bathroom I took my nightie and knickers off, looked at myself in the mirror and thought,“I don’t know what Ethan sees in you girl, but there must be something.”As I continued looking I decided that I really did want to become more like the other girls at work. Ethan had said the he would help me with ‘baby steps’, and if that was what it took then I would take his baby steps even if I did get embarrassed or thought that my mother would be horrified if she knew what I was. It was getting toward dusk. I’d go by Yass tomorrow. I thought of Banjo. I still had his books from decades ago. There were verses of his I could recall: The daylight is dying /Away in the west, /The wild birds are flying /In silence to rest; /In leafage and frondage /Where shadows are deep, /They pass to its bondage — /The kingdom of sleep. /And watched in their sleeping /By stars in the height, /They rest in your keeping, /Oh, wonderful night.Before going out again, I changed my shirt and phoned Canberra. I got Michiko. She sounded just as she always had. They’d prefer that I stayed with them. She’d prepared Al’s room, as there was little chance he’d suddenly appear in Canberra. Their house was in Turner. I should drive in on A23 – Northbourne Avenue – and make a right onto Condamine Street. She went on for several minutes and asked whether I wanted it repeated. I said no, that I’d phone late tomorrow if I got lost. But I had spent several years at Black Mountain myself.Michiko.
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